We are our own worst enemies! We want something in life and are often too afraid to go after it. I find that many of my clients experience this with their weight loss goals. They have gone on diet after diet and most lose weight only to gain it back. Many of them on a fundamental level do not believe they deserve the life they want or are too scared to achieve their goals. These 7 steps help you get out of your own way to allow you to achieve your goals.
- Be vulnerable. Let other people in and talk about what you are experiencing emotionally. We spend so much time in our heads beating ourselves up for perceived mistakes. The negative messages we say about ourselves would never be something we would say to others. This leads to a lot of shame, particularly with regard to our bodies. In AA, there is a saying, “You are only as sick as your secrets”. Talking about the self-defeating messages in your head allow them to lose their power over you.
- Recognize that you can overcome adversity. So often in the face of crisis, people want to throw their hands up and give up because they don’t think they can overcome the barriers they face. We are all far stronger and more adaptable than we give ourselves credit. When you are driving and get a flat tire, you don’t throw the car out with the tire. You change it and move on. Life is no different!
Take action toward your goals. When we feel shame, we don’t ask for or take action toward the things we want and need. By challenging this pattern, you will feel more confident and have a greater sense of self worth.
- Recognize that life is about change. Change is difficult for most people. I know it is very hard for me, but I also recognize that without change, I will cease to grow personally. I will become stagnant. When faced with change, make sure you keep an eye out for the opportunities and ability to have new experiences rather than focusing on the negatives. By learning to be flexible, change becomes much easier to manage.
- Spend more time thinking about what you want rather than what you fear. If you were to visualize your future based on your fears, what would that picture look like? If you were to visualize your future based on what you hope for and dream about, how would the picture be different?
- Take care of yourself. What does that mean? What is needed for self-care? Everyone is different, but the basics for most people would include adequate sleep, regular physical activity, healthy foods that make your body feel good, recreation and social activities. The key to a happy and healthy life is always balance.
- Mindfulness. We spend the majority of our lives in the past or future. The past can be full of remorse and regret and the future is the anxiety of what is yet to become. We often miss the life we have unfolding before our eyes. By staying present in any given moment, the shadows of the past and the anticipation of what is to come ceases to exist. In those moments, we are truly at peace.