Stress management is tricky. For many years, managing stress came down to taking a vacation, getting a massage, or engaging in a hobby. Those are all fine and good, but they are just a distraction from your problems. At best, they help you avoid discomfort. At worst, they can make the stress cycle worse.
Vacations Can Make Stress Worse?
Take vacations for example…. If you work in a demanding and stressful job, the time and energy it takes to get out of the office for the week can be intense. You might find that you work more hours, get less sleep, stop exercising, and eat highly processed convenience foods because you are short on time. Once you finally get to your vacation, your immune system might be severely compromised, leading to illness. It will probably take a few days for your mind and body to finally calm down enough to enjoy yourself. Then, a couple of days before you head home, your anxiety about heading back to real life ruins the rest of your trip.
If you actually address the underlying components creating stress, you get much further. What does this mean? It means that stress management isn’t about trying to stop the stress because that is unrealistic and also not entirely beneficial. Real change happens when we figure out how to stop letting life hijack our nervous system.
What Happens When We Get Stressed?
Put simply, stress activates the fight or flight response in our sympathetic nervous system. relaxation is in our parasympathetic nervous system. On a certain level, we NEED stress to a certain extent. Without it, the world would stop functioning. Without fear of impairing our ability to make money, damaging our health or relationships, many of us wouldn’t get out of bed each day.
The problem with our sympathetic nervous system is that it hasn’t evolved to recognize that our daily stressors aren’t going to kill us. When we flip that switch, it can be very hard to turn off. This is particularly true when we have a stressful job or conflict in our relationships that consistently triggers our stress response. By consistently calming our sympathetic nervous system, we insulate ourselves when stress pops up.
Skills That Actually Allow Us To Manage Stress:
Blowing the venom– this skill was developed by Donna Eden, founder of Eden Energy Medicine. Standing tall with your arms in front at a 90 degree angle and palms up, imagine gathering up all the stress into your hands. Then, raise your arms over your head and with palms down, imagine throwing all of your stress to the ground as you make the SSSSHHHH sound. This exercise also helps release anger.
Fire Breaths– Breathe in your nose and exhale forcefully out your mouth, as if you are breathing fire. Kind of like using your breath to fog a mirror, but with energy behind it. This one is great for anger, as well as stress. Imagine blowing out all of the uncomfortable emotions.
The Peacemaker– Melanie Smith developed this skill. Place your hands on the sides of your face. Gently, but firmly put the tips of your middle fingers in the tender spot under your ears and behind your jaw. Your ring and pinky fingers rest on your cheeks and the pointer fingers and thumbs rest on your neck. Using your hands to cradle your head, breathe in deeply through your nose. As you breath out, hum to release stress.
Extended Exhale– Breathe in your nose for 4 or 5 counts, hold for 2 and breathe out for 8-10 counts. Try this for several breaths. Extended exhale breathing helps to bring the parasympathetic nervous system online. If you have trouble sleeping, this skill is great!
Use this video if you need a demonstration of these skills.
EFT Tapping– if you haven’t ever heard of Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping, it can seem pretty “out there” at first. It involves tapping or rubbing acupressure points to release energy. EFT was developed by Gary Craig after training in Thought Field Therapy with Roger Callahan. If you want to learn the technique you can watch this video or check out The Tapping Solution app.
For more help with stress management or stress eating, contact me today!
Michelle Lewis
Latest posts by Michelle Lewis (see all)
- Emotional Eating and Self-Care: What Have I Done For Me Lately? - September 13, 2023
- Are You Eating Your Anger? - August 9, 2023
- Stress Management: Everything You Know Is (probably) Wrong - March 7, 2023
Michelle Lewis has been working in the mental health field since 2001. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Weber State University and a Master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Utah. She is passionate about helping others achieve their goals.
No comments yet.