How many times have you tried to make changes in your life with eating and exercise? 10? 20? Every Monday for the last 15 years? How often has that decision been made under duress, in that, you are tired of feeling the way you do, but beating yourself up every step of the way. Do you feel uplifted and empowered when you make that decision? Or, do you feel like the gum on the bottom of a shoe…beaten down and feeling like you are trying to claw your way out of a pit? What are the words that accompany your decision to go on that next diet? Are they along the lines of, “I deserve to feel better and treat my body with compassion”? Or, “I am so fat, ugly and lazy. I need to lose 50 pounds by swimsuit season”? Hmmm. Which feels more motivating? The second one, right? No. Of course that doesn’t feel motivating. Who would feel like making any changes if someone said those words to them? No one. That is one big reason why you end up doing this over and over. Shame does not motivate. Hate does not motivate. Shame and hatred for your body will only throw you deeper into a spiral of self-sabotage. The words you choose and tone you use when it comes to your body are so important. If you can’t see anyone else being motivated by those words, don’t use them when it comes to yourself. Treat yourself with kind, nurturing, compassion and the rest is more likely to follow. Trying to motivate yourself with negativity will never work beyond the first day or few weeks of a new diet or exercise plan. Love gets us so much further with our bodies (and in life) than hate ever has or ever will. If you don’t believe me, try it out!