I Don’t Look Like I’ve Had A Baby

In my last post, I discussed how I quickly got back to my pre-pregnancy shape. My reality is that my body rebounded very quickly. What I realized in the process is that people spend a lot of time looking at our bodies and comparing themselves. It has been amazing how many people will see me with my infant son and tell me I don’t look like I’ve had a baby. There are several reasons this could be problematic. It struck me one day that while they are being complementary, it is actually pretty insensitive. I struggled with infertility for 5 years before I was blessed with my son. My husband and I had multiple medical interventions before we were able to conceive through IVF. I had almost given up hope of becoming pregnant. Many women I know who struggle with infertility end up adopting. Every time someone comments on my body, I think about those women. It would be heartbreaking to adopt and have someone tell me that I don’t look like I’ve had a baby. The second piece is, it is OK to look like you’ve had a baby! It is ok for your body to look however it looks. It is not ok for people to make comments about it. It is not ok for you to shame it. The greatest fear for most of my clients is that people will look at their bodies and take note. Many don’t want the attention either positive or negative. I fully understand this. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing for someone to evaluate you in this way. I often think about our bodies as a vehicle. We don’t spend nearly as much energy or emotion on our car. If our neighbor washes his car, we don’t feel compelled to make a comment about it. What makes people think it is ok to comment on someone else’s body? What our body looks like has no bearing on who we are as people. I challenge you to stop the comparison. Stop making value judgments about your body or someone else’s. Try viewing them as vehicles and reduce the emotional attachment. It is quite freeing!

Michelle Lewis

Michelle Lewis

Michelle Lewis has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from Weber State University and a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of Utah. She has been working in the mental health field since 2001.

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