My clients struggle with body image. Hell, most women struggle with body image. It is estimated that 80% of women are dissatisfied with their body. When someone comes to see me, they are convinced that they will feel better about their body and happier if they lose weight. This might be true, but only marginally. I have seen many people lose weight only to find they still hate themselves and I have seen many thin people who are equally dissatisfied. They all have it backwards. By starting to feel more accepting about their body, that actually helps with weight loss. I know that sounds counterintuitive. You are probably asking yourself how accepting your body as is leads to weight loss. Body acceptance doesn’t mean you are complacent and can’t make changes. It simply means that you acknowledge that in this moment, you cannot change what your body looks like and shaming it won’t make it any different. By making this simple, yet incredibly difficult shift in your mindset, your self-esteem and confidence begin to grow. That confidence will lead you to be successful in any changes you decide to make because you will finally believe in your ability to do so. That confidence also draws people to you. My single clients are convinced that they are single because of their weight. No matter how hard I try, I can’t convince them otherwise until they start to feel more confident and realize that men are beginning to notice them. Their body hasn’t changed, just their attitude. Picture this…..you see a beautiful, thin, young woman who doesn’t make eye contact, seems uncomfortable in her own skin and makes self-deprecating comments about her body. Then you notice a plus sized young woman who makes eye contact, has a smile on her face, she’s quick to laugh and you can tell she feels comfortable in her own skin. Which one do you want to be around? Confidence is magnetic. It is what makes sales people successful. The bottom line is, if you want to feel better about your body, you need to meet it where it is and stop fighting it to be something different as of yesterday. Instead, care for it as if it is your best friend or your child. Nurture it with love instead of trying to bend it to your will with hate. Loving your body will get you further than hating it ever did.
Michelle Lewis
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Michelle Lewis has been working in the mental health field since 2001. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Weber State University and a Master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Utah. She is passionate about helping others achieve their goals.
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